The Importance of TED Talks for Children of Addicts
Children of addicts often feel lonely and miserable because we want someone to empathize with us. We want people to understand that the negative impacts of addiction still affect us–even those of us who have never used or drank.One of the most difficult struggles I’ve had as the child of an addict is that there are very few people in my life who relate to me. Don’t get me wrong–I have good friends who lend a listening ear. I have close family members who have been on the outside looking in for years. They see my pain, but they can go home at the end of the day. As a child, I didn’t know anybody struggling with the same issues my family was facing at home. The friends I had grown up with experienced explicit stability and love–something that was much desired from my siblings and I.
In adulthood, I started to meet people who were open about caregivers and loved ones in their own lives who were struggling with substance abuse issues. While I wish no person ever had to have those experiences, it made me feel validated that there were other people in the world who knew just how I felt. I wish that TED Talks would have been available throughout my childhood so that I would have had access to other people in my position during the formative years of my life.
Creating Togetherness for Children of Addicts
TED Talks are invaluable resources because they offer free information on just about any topic from experts and individuals who have enough experience to share. In recent years, I’ve sought out material that would help me to feel like part of a larger community of ACOAs. I wanted to hear more stories like mine; I wanted to learn about ways that I could stimulate my own healing, and I wanted to find more avenues to help other children of addicts. I’ve compiled five TED talks that demonstrate the challenges that children of addicts face. While some of these talks discuss alcoholism specifically, I believe that these are great discussions for children of all addicts who are looking for other individuals to identify with.
1. Emily Smith: “Lessons from the Child of an Addict”
This is a short, but powerful, TED talk. Emily Smith truly encompasses what many of us went through, and may still be going through, as the children of addicted parents. At the tender age of 19, she captures her audience by explaining the fact that every day as the child of an addict is a fight for our lives. We are at a real disadvantage when it comes to falling into the habits that we’ve been exposed to throughout the years. She emphasizes the need to end generational curses that have affected us all so deeply.
2. Fiona Douglas: “How Did Your Parents Mess You Up?”
This is a loaded question, isn’t it!? I won’t bore you with my own list, but I will encourage you to listen to this TED Talk. Fiona Douglas, a social worker in the UK, explores the ways in which adults all over the world have room to improve their parenting. While she doesn’t direct her message directly toward children of addicts, this is a speech that we can all learn from. Those of use with addicted, abusive, and/or neglectful parents can learn how their behavior affected us. Also, those of us who are parents now will be encouraged to evaluate our own behavior. We can make sure the buck stops with us in terms of how we are raising our own little ones.
3. Brennan Harlow: “The Ripple Effect of Addiction”
Brennan Harlow is another young adult who has, unfortunately, seen the destruction that often comes with addiction. Although his parents weren’t the addicts in question, he shows that even extended family feels the pressures of alcoholism and drug abuse. His story made me realize that the addiction happening in my home ultimately influenced our family and close friends who loved my mom and worried about us. In his empathetic confession of his uncle’s addiction, Harlow shows that the dangers of substance abuse know no bounds.
4. Ann Dowsett-Johnston: “Drinking and How it Changed My Life”
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to have a heart-to-heart with my own mother about her alcoholism. Be that as it may, it is interesting to hear the perspective of a person who is in recovery. Ann Dowsett-Johnston discusses her experiences with addiction. She tells us how it affected her relationship with her child, her career, and the ways in which addiction really can be generational. After watching her own mother fall victim to substance abuse, Dowsett-Johnston was in denial about her own development of the same problem. This is a sobering story that calls for all children of addicts to take a look at ourselves for those similarities to our parents. Because I am on my own journey to forgive my alcoholic parent, this talk gave me some great insight.
5. Lauren Windle: “Lessons a Drug Addict Can Teach You”
As you can tell from the title, this talk is not about alcoholism specifically. However, Lauren Windle uses her own story to share that drinking can often be a gateway to harder drugs. She provides a link between falling on rough times and her ultimate abuse of drugs. This is a pattern that many children of addicts might recognize in our parents and, perhaps, even ourselves. Luckily, it seems as though she is in recovery and using her experiences as a means to improve the lives of other people in a similar situation.
Connection and Community
In the United States, around 25% of minors are currently living with a family member who is addicted to alcohol–not to mention other drugs. These are lonely circumstances that can have alarming negative effects. While TED Talks may not be a replacement for all of the special moments shared between friends and loved ones who understand us best, they show that the burdens we carry are shouldered by others as well. As children of addicts, we are not alone. All of our stories are not the same–that’s for sure. But we have the opportunity to let others know that, though their experiences may have been different, their voices matter and their pain is valid.
What did you think of these TED Talks? Do you have a favorite TED Talk you’d like others to hear? Let us know and don’t forget to sign up for the emailing list for more content!